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Jokes

Happened some time ago when late Leonid Brezhnev was still in charge in Russia and the good old communist party ruled in Poland. Brezhnev was coming to an official visit and the Polish Central Committee was planning the celebrations. Says one: "There are no major works of art in our collections that would show Lenin visiting Poland. We could order a painting from one of our contemporary artists, in real socialistic realism style and all, and unveil it as a highlight of our formal dinner with Brezhnev."

Everybody is cheering. What a wonderful idea! Until the young colonel Jaruzelski, Committee member and expert in political history, makes a disappointing remark: "Unfortunately, comrades, I must tell you that during his most celebrated and honourable life, Lenin never visited Poland."

Fierce discussion follows. Art must tell the truth, that's agreed upon, so the artist must not lie to the people by painting a fictitious situation. Finally, a young and promising painter is brought in front of the committee, and he surprises everybody by promising that he can make a painting from the subject "Lenin in Poland" with nothing fictitious in it.

The great day arrives and Brezhnev's visit is a success. In the evening, the big formal dinner is held at the Cultural Palace of Warsaw. The huge, veiled painting hangs on the wall opposite Brezhnev and Chairman Gierek. Bottles of champagne are prepared, trumpets play a short and jubilous signal, and the silk-thin veil is dropped to the floor with a roar of applause...which suddenly dies into a nasty silence. Some hasty whispers, and the poor artist is most promptly brought in front of chairman Gierek, who asks "My comrade, you were given the subject 'Lenin in Poland.' Could you explain, who is that young lady in your painting who lies naked on the pillows?"

"Comrade chairman, she is Anna Fjeodorovna, Lenin's wife."

"Oh yes... but who is that greedy-looking bearded fellow who is kissing her navel?"

"He is Prince Jusupof, the famous Russian Don-Juan from the beginning of the century."

"But.. BUT WHERE IS LENIN?"

"Comrade Chairman, Lenin is in Poland."